Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
