Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
