when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
