There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize