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entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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