Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
