I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
