drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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