I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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