idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
