Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
