Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
