you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize