When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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