It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize