We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
