he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
