if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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