Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
