just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
