You're completely useless in the revolution.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
