Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
