Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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