3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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