they need to just BURY HIM!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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