You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
