You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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