He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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