You just made me feel so damn special
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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