..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
