i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Did I show you my penis last night?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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