Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
