its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
