He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
