Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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