When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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