It's Friday. Sex?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
