Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
