How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize