This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
