R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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