My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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