is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
