At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
