everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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