I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we're making bets on your personal life
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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