I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
