Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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