Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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