Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
