Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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