3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
