I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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