There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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