Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
