Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
