Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She's not a foreskin expert like you
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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